To “Finding myself through whining”.
I’m starting to not feel so disconnected to everyone, but I also think that’s why I was whining so much here. I needed an outlet at that time to let things out. I really think reading about joy has been helping.
Last night, though, I started to laugh at myself. I’m truly on some sort of crooked and narrow path to self-discovery.
So, I usually work late twice a week. But the time that I was there was slow, and out of the goodness of my heart, I volunteered to go in late as they’d screwed over my co worker and double booked him for the last two hours of the day. One of those was an evaluation as well. Also, there was someone there I wanted to snicker at a little.
Turns out my help was needed, and instead of snickering, I provided (maybe) a little moral support. So, it worked out better than I’d planned.
However, when I went home, I was grumpy. I mean, just so irritable. It wasn’t because I worked late. It was because I heard them over-booking me on Friday, and I know my co-worker isn’t going to stay to bail me out. So I guess I was mad because I felt like I had to stay late and then I got screwed.
After awhile, common sense struck me. What’s the difference if I’m double booked and find out about it now or later? And my help was needed. AND…. I can’t emphasize this AND enough….. I volunteered. How stupid of me to VOLUNTEER and then WHINE about it like a little girl whose ice cream fell in the dirt. No one put a gun to my head. I could have went home early, because really, it was either lose two hours of pay, or come back and make it up. It’s not like I didn’t get paid for it.
Anyway. I shake my head at myself in disbelief.
An epiphany? Maybe not. A moment of personal growth? Probably not so much. I’m probably going to repeat that behavior over and over in my life.
I wish I could have taken my joy out of knowing I was a blessing to someone, instead of whining like a child.
I’ve said it before: I’m a work in progress. Only God knows where I will stand eventually, and I pray daily that He will turn me into the person he wants me to be and give me an understanding of my sins to better control them.
~wavygirl~
Writing Splashes 
I think everybody does things like this. I find myself whining about stuff a lot, too – and stuff that I bring about myself. But, there’s no point in wallowing in self pity – it doesn’t do anything but bring us down! I’ve been trying to tell myself lately to grin and bear it – it’ll be over soon and, whatever the situation, it doesn’t define me! I choose to be happy!
It’s the choice that I’m struggling with. I think it’s a constant re-thinking of the things going on in my life. It’s so easy to get bogged down with the negative that it’s difficult to pull up and see the big picture. Congrats on the weight loss, BTW!