Monthly Archives: February 2014

Need a Nice New Novel


I’m in the mood to just start over.  New characters.  New plot.  New everything.  The blank white page before me just begging to let the story out.  A whole white world of wonder. 

Not unlike the snow that won’t melt. 

And I’ll stop with the alliteration now.  Annoying, ain’t it?


Actually, I might go for a short story instead, or rework some from my past.  I think I know just the one, if I can find the hard copy of it.  It’s about the man who cut off the tag on the pillow, and the consequences that befell him.  Everyone I showed it to hated the ending, but I thought it was hysterical.  More on that later perhaps.

Have a great night, all!


Stressed Over Nothing


Like seriously.  I’m in a mental void of anti-stress and it’s stressing me out.  Why can’t I just sit back and relax and enjoy the fact that nothing is happening?  Instead, I have to start with the mental checklists and think about all the stuff left undone. 

1.  Take the dogs to the vet.

2.  Pay back my brother.

3.  Get my daughter ready for the rest of high school (band trip, money shelled out for winterguard, prom, etc…) and then, ready for college.

4.  Decide if I’m actually going to go to college and then register for classes in the summer.

5.  Plan my daughter’s graduation party.

6.  Lose weight.

7.  Do laundry. 

8.  blahblahblahblahblahblah………………  etcetcetcetc………………..

So lame.  This stuff is going to come and go no matter if I worry about it or not.  I’ll come up with the money for said stuff one way or another, I always do, but instead I’m sitting around feeling that old familiar tension creeping up the back of my neck and starting to squeeze.  And for what?  It’s really not worth it.

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”  Matthew 6:34 NIV


Comfy Bed


I lie here in bed so snugly and warm,
My brain won’t wake up from my dreams,
Have to wake kids and breakfast to make,
But the cold just won’t let me it seems.

Hey, I have never once claimed to be a poet. Occasionally though, I have a day where I want to break into song (apropos for the moment). I call those theme music days. Also, I have never once claimed that I’m able to sing. That makes it a bad day for those around me.

In reality, gotta go deal with a little flu bug here with the kids. Hope I don’t get it too.

That is, if I can haul myself out of my warm cozy bed,

Why are Christians so hard on gay people?


A little history first, on why I’m writing this.  I have very negative connotations about people being gay.  This is because when I was in fifth grade, a boy came across my best friend and I seeking shelter under a bridge on the way to school.  It was one of those frigid, arctic days where the wind would blow through all your layers no matter what.

He started yelling that we were kissing under the bridge, and he proceeded to run to the school and tell EVERYONE that my friend and I were gay.  I heard so much hate in the next six years of my life.  I can’t even dignify them with restating them.  Middle school was awful.  If I wasn’t a Christian at that time, I don’t think I would have made it through. 

I didn’t have a boyfriend or a first kiss until I was 17 because of this.  I married my first husband (in part) because I wanted to prove to the world that I wasn’t a lesbian.  (Yes I loved him, and no it didn’t work out, but why else would I get engaged at age 20?)

So when I hear the world talk about people who are gay who are bullied, I know where they are coming from.  I know what it’s like to be shoved in the hallway.  Whispered about.  To have my friends-the few that were left- tell me that they couldn’t sit with me anymore.  They didn’t believe the rumors, but they didn’t want to be associated with me or they might have rumors fly about them too. 

I don’t have any gay friends, because every time I hear that they are gay, all those voices rush up in my head and I can’t silence them, even though it was over 25 years ago. 

I have Christian friends however, most who are outspoken against gay people.  Why?  Don’t gay people need Jesus too?  If we keep dragging out the portion of scripture where they should be stoned, how is that turning them to God?  ALL have sinned.  What do we think lying is?  Stealing?  Drinking excessively?  Adultery?  Gossip?  Ignoring the poor?  Being gay?  All are sins that separate us from God. 

Yes, I think being gay is a sin.  But since I don’t think I can go 5 minutes without at least thinking some snarky or judgmental comment (my inner censor is improving with age, thank God), who am I to judge? 

I don’t really think that God would take a gay person who made a profession of faith, and make them burn in hell.  Conversely, I would hope that God would nudge them a little, and they should want to change, even if they can’t.

I have a sugar addiction that I can’t shake.  I know it’s not the same as being gay, but everyday I wake up and face it again.  I don’t think that God is overjoyed when I eat 1000 M&Ms in a sitting.  That’s not taking good care of the body God gave me.  SIN.  Yes, I am a sinner.  And I make an effort, however futile it seems at times, to change my ways.  And I believe that gay people should do that as well.  But I’m not in their heads, and I can’t see their struggles.

I think gay people should be welcomed into the churches, and I think the focus should be on salvation, not on who they are sleeping with.  I know this opinion isn’t popular with Christians, or probably gay people for that matter, and my question is WHY?  Maybe I’m just a lackluster Christian who doesn’t want to stand up to the voices in my head.  Maybe I should have a stronger, less middle-of-the-road opinion.  I just don’t know.  But I do know that I’ve given this a lot of thought in the past couple years.


Good day for writing.


I got some good reviews of my writing from the instructor.  Obviously it wasn’t perfect, but she said I had an excellent grasp of dialogue.  Also, my syntax and diction was good, but I don’t know what that means, lol.  It’s been a long time since I was in English class working on grammar.

So I came home, e-mailed her the first chapter of my novel that is in progress, then actually buckled down and got a little closer (3 pages) to finish draft two.

For someone who just got good marks on her dialogue, I’m sure fudging up this conversation that is taking place in my book.  It didn’t seem to flow properly when I re-read it, and so I changed it, and now the pivotal point of the conversation doesn’t make sense.  I think I just need to re-read both drafts of it, take away the point I want to make, and chop the rest.  It shouldn’t be this hard, which is why I’m done for the day.

It’s good to get back to it, though, after taking a month-long break.  32 pages to go from the original rough draft.  That’s not so much, considering it’s double spaced.  However, it may double in size when it’s all said and done.  It’s already grown by about 10000 words.  I think I need another 20000 to get to an actual novel length.

Anyway, pork chops for dinner, ice cream for dessert, and ice sculptures this evening!

The weekends are really too short……

Oh, I just looked up syntax and diction, and realize that she paid me an excellent compliment!  🙂

Michigan Weather


There’s a touch of spring in the air, as the temps hover above freezing for a couple days.  There’s meant to be a thunderstorm sometime tonight, and then, by the end of next week, the next “polar vortex” will be in place.

Seriously.  Can’t we just call it “a cold front” like back in the day?  No.  It has to be a “polar vortex”. 


It’s gotta go along with The Weather Channel’s propensity for naming snowstorms.  There’s no other reason.  We must, in our fast paced, fast entertainment world, feel like a bit of cold air is the start of the end of the world. 

“It’s a cold front.”  just doesn’t have the same emotional and paranoid charge as “It’s a polar vortex.”

I hope whoever coined that term got some kind of royalties.

It’s WINTER people.  Not only is it winter, it’s WINTER in MICHIGAN!  It’s going to be cold.  It’s going to be snowy.  It’s going to suck for another month. 

I’m still predicting an early spring after seeing robins already.  Nature knows best, right?

Personally, I hate the frigid cold, but I still love the snow and totally appreciate the fact that there’s actually been snow that has lasted this long.  The past two winters were kind of downers, snow accumulation-wise, so this is a pleasant change.

Just think!  In six months, I’ll be whining about how hot it is!



I don’t have time for this.


I’m caught in a cocoon of inactivity.  The fact that the temps outside are still frigid might have something to do with that.  The fact that my new job, while it pays the bills, is less than stimulating.  I work as a physical therapist assistant, and all the PTs do the same thing over and over.  It’s making me a little crazy that most of them are in a rut.  All the office staff and PT techs hate their jobs and aren’t quiet about it.

The job itself is all right, but I’m not sure that this position will be open to me going to college and altering my schedule to support that.  It was on my resume that I wished to return to college and was seeking a supportive job, but I’m not really sure that she read it.  I suppose I should bring it up to her.  It’s just that there are other people going to school and they aren’t feeling the love.

It’s hard for me to work in such a lackluster environment.  I’m the sort of person who picks up on all the vibes around me and it’s just a downer.  Hence the extra TV.  I know it’s a distraction from the stupidity at work.

Why can’t I just throw myself into my writing as a distraction?  I’m going to try that tonight.  Do some actual living and movement and haul myself out of the cozy little strangulating cocoon that I’ve woven myself into.