I got up around 3:45 this morning today, and my mind started racing like Lightning McQueen at the Piston Cup.
I start my writer’s group today, in two and a half hours, and I’m already second guessing myself.
“Everyone else is going to be a better writer than me.”
“Did I pick the right excerpt from my novel to take with me?”
“I’m never going to be a writer, and I’m going to be stuck at my moderate paying health care job for the rest of my life.”
to the ever popular, “You suck, you shouldn’t even bother.”
Mind you, I wouldn’t even dream of no going to this group. I loathe speaking in front of strangers, and I’m going to force myself to do that as well, if needed.
As a Christian, and a wanna-be writer, I want to use my writing for the forces of good. Maybe this is the forces of darkness trying to get me to chicken out. Well, neener-neener forces of darkness. I’m going anyway.
And I’ll post the excerpt right here, for all the world to see. I made a couple minor changes as the readers can’t see what came before (and to shorten it to one page, LOL)
She turned off the screen and headed down the hall to the lavatory, then stopped and opened the door to The Law Office of John Sinclair. “Hello?” she called as she opened the door.
John sat slumped in the desk in the front office. He sat up and reached to straighten his tie, then seemed to realize he’d already removed it. “What can I do for you, Charissa?” He always sounded so proper, so professional. She really did try to stay away from married men, and John was very much married. Although, according to his secretary, Monica, the divorce was nearly final. He wouldn’t talk about it with her though. He would just adjust his glasses, straighten his tie, and make her wonder what lay under that lawyerly exterior.
At any rate, it was fun to taunt him a little. She draped herself in the chair reserved for clients. “Nothing. I just had the dinner from hell with my brother.” She told him about her brother, Greg, and his on again, off again fiancé, and their meal at Antonia’s, a rather expensive Italian restaurant, and how they’d stuck her with the bill again. “They think that they can just walk all over me.”
John glanced up from his computer and merely nodded at her chatter; the glow from the screen lit up his face. He looked rather pale, with dark shadows under his eyes. The glasses hid them unless one was looking. The man looked tired. He also looked bored, which was not her intent in coming here.
“I fell in the hallway earlier,” she said.
“Is that right?” he murmured. “YES!!” He stared at the screen in front of him.
She raised her eyebrows at him. “I’m sorry?”
“Oh, no, I was just winning on the game. You fell? You all right?” He was already engrossed in whatever idiotic game he was playing.
“Well I cut my leg….”
He glanced up that that, and spent a second or two longer to look at her leg than he should have needed. Finally. What did she have to do get a little attention around here? Unfortunately, John was merely eye candy, to be savored but not devoured. He half stood. “You’re bleeding.”
“I’m all right.” Just a little attention, that’s all she needed to boost her spirits. Maybe she’d hang around the office for an hour or so, and he would come and visit her. They could lock the door. Or she could forget the fantasy and just call Taylor, her sort-of boyfriend. The idea of calling him irritated her, and she thought that their future might be very short-lived.
The fantasy was supremely better. She wondered again when John’s divorce was final. Would he be willing to check out her legs more intimately?
“How are you?” she asked, belatedly.
He spared her one more glance, a quick, dismissive one this time. “I’m just fine.” That was his patent response to that question every time she asked it. She stood, stretched just a little, to no avail. His attention span had been used up. “Yes!” he yelled again.
Charissa went back to her office, torn between irritation and laughter. She knew she irked him, but he hid it well. She just couldn’t decide if he liked her as a human or not. They’d shared this floor of the building for the past year and a half, and she was no closer to getting to know him now than ever. Oh well, he was just a harmless little fantasy, anyway.
Anyway, around 5:30 I got back to sleep for another hour and a half. Bite me, forces of darkness!