Monthly Archives: January 2014

My Best Friend part 3


I met my third best friend in college.  I don’t know exactly how it happened.  The first person I made friends with in college held the blood pressure cuff too tight on me, and bruised my arm up.  It didn’t really hurt but it looked awful and after that she panicked and dropped out of the program.

The second person I hung out with turned out to be too optimistic and perky for me to hang around with, especially in the early morning hours.  So I kind of backed away from that, to a degree.  My backing away is more subtle than most, so it may have all been in my head and she possibly never even noticed.

I’m kind of socially awkward, so it’s difficult for me to make friends.  In my opinion, a real friend is someone you call in real life, not just texting.  Someone you hang out with in real life.  Someone you can have a conversation with.  Someone you can call for help or just to talk without feeling like you’re being rushed off the phone.  Go to the movies or lunch with.  You know, a friend.

Call me old school.

So I finally found a group I sort of fit into.  Keep in mind that we were going to spend two years of our lives with these people.  Out of the 6 or so people in the group, I found one that is a real friend, and two that I still keep in touch with.  For me, that is excellent.

So I exchanged phone numbers with these woman, mostly to keep up with homework assignments and to vent about classes and grades. 

So, my socially awkwardness kicks in, and while I hang out with these ladies at school, I don’t call them.  Why?  Because I don’t miss classes.  I’m rather up to date on everything, and I kind of skate by in the first semester. 

That all changed on the first day of the second semester.  I had to drive my child to my sister-in-law’s house to be babysat, and being Michigan in January, I hit the largest pothole in the county.  Like, a small family could have found shelter in this thing.  I took out my tire rim, the thing flattened, I pull into a bank and just want to cry. 

So I called the woman who became my third best friend.  “Hello?  This really sucks.  I have a flat and I’m going to be late.  Can you let the teacher know?”

The first thing she asked is, “Can I help you?  Where are you?”

I’d already called my husband, so I told her no, but I was always struck by the fact that she was willing to drop everything, even on the all-panicky first day of the second semester.  I’d heard the class was tough (and it was), and I was in a tizzy.  Also, about an hour late for class as I still had to drop off my daughter.

So, I think that random act of kindness on her part was what got us to be past that acquaintance stage of friendship.

I find that my relationships with my friends (the first I found when I was 6, the second 18) become more complicated as we age.  The friends we make as children stay our friends either because you’ve always been friends and always will be, or out of habit.  If I met the woman who was 4 years old when I was 6, and worked with her today, would we get past that acquaintance stage?  I don’t think we would.  I think our children are too far apart in age for us to have that in common.  I think we’d be good work friends but I’m not sure that it would ever get past that point if I met her now. 

I’m glad I got in early.

So, there are many complex variable with my friendship with friend#3, and I’m not really comfortable sharing a lot of those details.  Suffice it to say, she suffers from depression, and has since I’ve known her.  She married my brother three and a half years ago, and they have a 2 year old now.  And she struggles every day.  And she still has that same giving personality.  She’ll drop everything to help me out.  She’ll drive ten miles out of her way to car pool in rush hour traffic.  I probably still owe her money for buying me lunch here and there in our college days.  She is starting to grow in her faith as a Christian, although I don’t think she sees it that way yet. 

I pray for her that someday she will be free from depression and that she will be able to accept herself, flaws and all.  I hope that she can see that she is abundantly blessed, and find her way to contentment.

And I’m glad she is my friend.  Why?  Because I’m not without baggage myself.  We relate to each other on slightly different levels, and that’s okay because we can depend on each other to give a different perspective.  I’m a quiet listener for the most part, but she doesn’t take offense if I have something to say and tell her to stop talking for a minute.  We make crazy plans that will probably most likely never come to fruition (most recently, a plan to drive to Montana, lol), and it’s fun.  Plus I have some annoying habits that most friends wouldn’t accept (my inability to remember birthday or send Christmas cards, for one; my inability to finish a project, or the way I change my mind constantly, or wander away in the store while we’re shopping together), and she takes them all and accepts me for who I am. 

You are a great friend, Heather, and a wonderful sister too.



Beyond Michigan Winter


Michigan winters in southeast Michigan are wonderful things.  We are in a little sub-climate due to our positioning between the Great Lakes Erie and Huron, I’m guessing, and most of the harshest weather seems to sneak past us, either to the north or the south.  We get some snowfall, usually only a few inches at a time, which in a normal year would be cleaned up or melted by the time the next little “snowstorm” hits us. 

For being Michiganders, we’re pretty spoiled and wimpy when it comes to the weather.  Most people drive pretty safely (except for that first snowfall or drunks, lol), the salt trucks come and destroy our roads, and life goes on.

That being said, I’M NOT USED TO THIS SUB-ZERO CRAP FOR DAYS ON END!!!!!  It’s been a couple weeks since the temp even hit 20, and that felt so balmy after the last cold snap that I went out in a hoodie.  Right now it is -7 and feels like -22.  The kids have been off school since Friday, and I’m really hoping they go back tomorrow.  I let the dog out with crop pajama pants on and my ankles froze in that millisecond the door was open!

Two years ago we got two four inch snowfalls all winter, and that melted into spring before February even got here.  Last year was a little better (I like snow, but not necessarily frigid arctic temps), but this year is making up for them both. 

Yup, I’m whining about the weather.  To anyone from Minnesota or Wisconsin or the Dakotas or even the Upper Peninsula, I’m sorry.  I’m a Michiwimp.

*hides face in shame*


Delaying the Inevitable.


I suppose it’s pointless to go onto WordPress and state that I’m planning to write at least a page in the next hour.

It’s pointless to say that the weather is stinking cold and the kids are off school tomorrow (but I have to work, ugh).

It’s also pointless to note that I’m being a procrastinator again and I truly think I’m incapable of finishing a single


Not really sure what I’m going to write about today.  It’s that lack of planning that I’m dwelling on lately.  Although I will have you know that I did complete a page of revision.  It’s not awesome, but it’s done.  In my opinion, after much speculation, and after much reading on the topic, the first revision after a rough draft is little more than a second rough draft.  So what if I just want to get it done?  So what if not every word of this story at this point is not super-cool? 

It’s not really supposed to be. 

The next revision is going to suck even more, because I have to fix some of the back story, add some whole sections on the background, as the worldview at this point is, well, for lack of a better word, sucky. 

Don’t get me wrong, I like the story; I’ve enjoyed the story, and I think that the main story line is strong for the most part.  But what about the pregnant sister?  What about the crazy neighbor that never returned to the story?  (I really liked her, she was about 60, a workout-aholic, rather slim and pretty and feminine until she opens her mouth and turns out to be this brassy, brazen chick.  If she doesn’t end up in this story, she’ll end up in another.)

There are a lot of what-ifs about this story, and I’ve been thinking about them some as this first revision comes to a close.  There’s still a lot of work to do.

Character Problem


So, the last two stories I’ve started have been very different.  (Sorry, still working on the second draft of my other novel, absolutely no reason why it isn’t done except for I’ve had these other stories in my head and I have to get parts of them out while the muse is right)

One is a YA novel about a girl who twirls flags, I posted a chapter here: 

Apparently I need to work on posting links, lol.  When I wrote that one, I made an outline and kind of stuck to it.

This new one is a romance novel (I know, pick a genre already, right?).  I only have a chapter and a half and no plan or plot in place.

The similar thing in writing both of these is that I can’t seem to get into the main characters head, I can’t seem to feel what they are feeling and what motivates them.  In the first one, I just kept writing.  It was NaNo time and that’s what you do during NaNo.  You write, write, write until you want to vomit up all the words you’ve written and never pick up a pen (metaphorically) again.

But writing is like a disease, it seeps into your bones and you have to do it.  Sure, you can take a break from it, you can get busy and focused on other things, but the writing always comes back.

With the second novel, I was inventing characters with my friend/sister-in-law.  Which I blogged about here.

But I can’t seem to get into the head of this character either.  But I can get into the heads of the siblings who are her friends, so instead of forcing the book to go in a direction it maybe isn’t meant to, I’m going to refocus on the characters I can, and see what evolves from that. 

I’ll have to pick up the other one again soon (after I’m done with my revision) and try to fix it. 

Maybe my daughter can help me figure out how to post these links more effectively.  I’m sure it’s easy, but I just don’t have the knowledge…..



I’ve been up since 4:30 a.m. and I’m waiting for the inevitable crash.

I get up, and since I have a lot on my mind, questions for my boss, etc, my mind started clicking away instead of relaxing into the slumber that I have earned!  I’m not used to long days, but I get some shorter ones as well.  Today I didn’t have to go in until 10:30 so I managed to go to the gym prior to working.  That’s a half hour on the treadmill, alternating between fast walking and faster walking, as I sprained my hip a bit ago and it’s not fully functioning at higher speeds yet.

And that’s it for now.  Sorry to cut it off but I’m getting an ocular migraine and I can barely read the words now…..  I’ll say I’m blessed that I don’t get bad migraine headaches, just a little fuzzy for a half hour or so.  Be back later!!!!!