I have always found writing to be a good way to process my thoughts, to organize my ways of thinking, etc. I haven’t been doing it lately because I haven’t been writing. I think after I went to college (I graduated last spring), I went through a period of burnout. I haven’t really wanted to write. I’ve been painting a little here and there (say a few days a month) so I’ve had a little creative outlet, but mostly I’ve been working, stressing about my job, and wondering how to make ends meet when my student loans come through.
I think we’ve got the finances worked out in the form of refinancing our house. The closing should happen soon, and I will no longer have credit cards. The money freed up from the credit cards will now be used for student loans. blah blah blah. I’m not here to talk about money. I’m here because I’m messed up in the head, I finally have some options, and I don’t know what to do about it.
The quick version (all I have time for right now) is I left my old job because I wasn’t getting 40 hours. There were other reasons I left (any they possibly contributed to my burning out), but I was worried about money so I found a new job where I’d be able to work 40 hours. Well, they kind of lied. I’m working the same amount of hours but in a different environment and I have hated it for numerous reasons since I started 5 months ago.
Also, I have not gotten a single call in the past year on a job with my new degree. So…. the whole job search makes me want to hurl myself off a bridge. Not a tall one. Just a little one. You know, I’ll survive the fall but the adrenaline rush will make me forget about my problems for a minute.
Anyway, my old job called me back for three days a week. I said, Hey, maybe I can work the other two days in something else and get something new to put on my resume! So I told her I’d take it, and then told my boss I was putting in my notice, and I got two job interviews in other fields (one is Saturday, the other I have to schedule this afternoon.
So he is trying to talk me into staying and I’ve always had a problem with misplaced loyalty or guilt or something so now I’m thinking of things.
I don’t have time right now but I’m going to do pros and cons and work this out. I want to understand why I’m making the decisions that I am so I can hopefully do the right thing.
More later…..
~wavygirl~
Writing Splashes 